Introduction
You call it pride, ego, self-respect, or shyness, some of us don't like to ask for help. And some of us just don't know how to ask for help.
Image source: Google
Developers are different. We love to write code. We love to build the next biggest things using code. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and Skype are a few examples of code that has changed the world. But there is a dark side to that. Writing code requires countless hours sitting in front of the computer and hence we do not spend enough time to socialize and to network. Many of us also build ego or pride. We live in our own little world. Many of us are not so social and have a shy nature. And many of us just don't know where to go and find the right network.
Many developers even become arrogant. I've met developers who are full of stupidity of arrogance. They are smart but they start thinking everyone else is a fool. I remember one day, this young sales guy asked one of my co-worker a question. Now remember, this is a student just graduated and he has no idea of coding. My co-worker simply called him "stupid". That sales guy today runs his own consulting firm and that "co-worker" is still writing code.
Why Help
If you want to grow out of being a developer and want to become more than that, CTO or manager, or even start your own business, you will need to think and act differently. You will need to give up your pride and/or ego. There will be times when you may reach out and ask for help.
“Don't let your past write your future”
So Why Now
I was a typical developer living in my own world writing code behind the desk. But in the last few years, something has changed.
For the last few years, I have been involved in the startup community and have met many founders, entrepreneurs and even investors. Many of these people are very rich and successful. When I say, rich, I really mean rich, in billions. More and more I learn about successful people, the more common traits I find in them. One of the common traits I have seen in most of them is a willingness to help. Many of these guys are willing to give back to the community.
“People are willing to help...”
So where do you start?
Where To Start
Finding a mentor or “guru” is the key. Mentorship is the best way to get on the track. For a mentor, you must find somebody who believes in you and who sees your potential beyond you. Once you find the right mentor, you must respect their opinion and guidance.
What If
When reaching out for help, you should be very polite. Remember, you're in need. There are chances you may not get any response or help for a while or maybe never but don't be discouraged. Find somebody else and keep trying.
Remember, even though most successful people are willing to help, they are usually very full of activity. You're not the only person contacting them. For you, your need may be the most important task but for them, it's not. Try to fit into their shoes for a moment.
Here is a small chapter of my own life. When I started my first job, I was young, passionate and very energetic. I wanted to reshape my company and fix all the problems it was having. Keep in mind, I just joined the company and for the company, I was a nobody. But I didn't think that way. I reached out to our CEO and asked him to allow me to present some ideas to change things around. He entertained my ideas but he didn't act upon those. Today, I am in his shoes and totally understand. For him, that was not a high priority.
“A good mentor will look for your interest”
Here is one more example. At one of the recent events, one guy (call him “Jim”) started chatting with me and started complaining about a very successful billionaire. Let's call him, “Bill”. Now, keep in mind, Bill is a very good friend of mine and I know how busy Bill is. Jim was just going on and on about how his idea is so good and Bill liked it but Bill has not responded to him. This could happen to any of us. Just because Bill did not reply to Jim's email does not mean Bill doesn't want to help. People have priorities.
So How
So, how do I ask for help?
The best way to ask for help is try to build a relationship. You can't just randomly go to somebody you have never met and ask for help. The chances of getting any help are very slim. But if you introduce yourself and be polite and listen, learn and get a temperature of the person and politely ask when the time is right.
Sometimes I get emails from people asking for immediate help with their code. But people don't realize that I just don't write code. Nothing personal, but when people have work, business, family and kids, it's not easy for them to find free time.
Here is an email I got from a guy:
Hello friend! This is ............. I work at Tria and the other night on your way out we spoke briefly. You handed me your ...............card and we spoke a bit about your endeavors with C# Corner. I did a lot of research into your work friend and it is impressive!
As an amateur programmer myself, I'd love to sit down and have a beer with you and talk a bit about your work if you ever get the time! I get a pretty discount at Tria if you'd like to come back some time.
Let me know!
.......................
I replied nicely to the email that I am not really sure when I will be in that area. The truth is, it is very far from me and I really don't visit that place. Maybe once a year. The guy took it otherwise and thought I was blowing him off.
Let's put it in a real-world perspective.
Say, you go to a conference where you know this one speaker (let's call him Sam) can help you but he is very busy meeting. The best way will be to introduce yourself (don't be shy), talk a little about his talk, his work and ask politely if you could send him an email and try to get his email. Don't ask for his cell phone number and call him right away.
Now, you go home and write a thank you note about the meeting and write nicely, say you are looking for a little guidance and if he has time to help you out. Don't just go all the way and write a two page letter. If he replies and says OK, then you give him the details.
Sometimes it is possible you don't get a reply right away or maybe never. Don't take it personally. Sam may just be busy.
You just continue working on finding the next mentor.
C# Corner is for you
C# Corner is one of the largest online communities for developers with millions of members worldwide. We’re here to help. If you’re a developer, need help in anyway, all you need to do is, reach out. P.S. Do not ask us to do your homework. What we can do is, help you guide in the right direction. Either it is finding you resources to learn, connecting with a right person, or helping you with jobs and interviews. Just get involved!
Read What C# Corner Community Can Do For You to learn more.
Summary
Businesses are all about a good networking and relationships. There is nothing wrong with being proud but to build your own business and grow, you must let the pride/ego go and reach out to people who you think will be able to help you out.
Good luck!
Chittaranjan SwainPosted Oct 29, 2019, 11:21 PM
Nice article....
Mohanraj KaliappanPosted Feb 22, 2018, 6:51 AM
Thank you Mahesh for your Nice Article
Satish Kumar VadlavalliPosted Feb 22, 2018, 1:55 AM
Very motivating article.It encourage us.
Vinay KPosted Feb 21, 2018, 2:33 AM
Thank you sir ,Nice Article...
Satyaprakash SamantarayPosted Feb 20, 2018, 10:19 PM
This article motivates me a lot . Thanks Mr. Mahesh
S PPosted Feb 20, 2018, 9:17 AM
Really nice article, Ideally c# corner is my guru with helpful experts.
Upendra Pratap ShahiPosted Feb 20, 2018, 4:43 AM
Very motivating article.It encourage us. And your examples are heart touching.Thank you so much.....
Pops FalePosted Feb 19, 2018, 11:13 AM
Nice one .. love to read such things which helps to make better networking .
Khaja MoizuddinPosted Feb 19, 2018, 5:58 AM
Great one , always love reading your article / blogs that gives me boost and keep motivated.
Hiten PandyaPosted Feb 19, 2018, 2:28 AM
Thank you sir for this wonderful article
Sagar Pandurang KapPosted Feb 18, 2018, 10:57 PM
Very motivating article.It encourages me.And your examples are heart touching.Thank you so much.....
Abhishek ChandelPosted Apr 2, 2017, 5:47 AM
Thank you sir for guiding us :)
Vidya Vrat AgarwalPosted Mar 30, 2017, 6:18 PM
Loved It, thanks for writing it :)
Suresh KumarPosted Mar 30, 2017, 2:38 AM
Nice article sir....seriously very inspiring
Timoteo ZonetoPosted Jan 23, 2017, 1:46 PM
Great Work, Thanks for sharing
Nijo JosePosted Jan 15, 2017, 10:57 PM
Very inspiring. I appreciate you emphasis on "being in their shoes" when evaluating others. To help and to ask for help - both needs to loose the ego. The best things in the world are not achievable in the first short. You might have to try 100 times. Thanks for write on pure coder scenarios. I saw this a lot among fresh coders than experienced people.
Vignesh ManiPosted Jan 2, 2017, 3:19 PM
Very Nice and motivated article sir.
Rashmi SainiPosted Jan 2, 2017, 1:28 PM
Nice Article.. Sir your articles gives great motivation to the developers. Today I have written my first blog on C# corner because of your article you shared recently "How To Write Your First Technical Article". From a long time I want to write but not able to do. Thanks a lot sir.. for your motivation and inspiration
Suvendu Shekhar GiriPosted Jan 2, 2017, 11:59 AM
Great article! Thanks for sharing :)
Former memberPosted Jan 2, 2017, 7:15 AM
I like to request if C# forum section can be better because many time i posted question but got no answer. it will be really helpful if C# forum section can be good as Stackoverflow.
Anupam SinghPosted Jan 2, 2017, 12:58 AM
An another dose of Motivation, thanks for sharing sir.
Joe WilsonPosted Dec 31, 2016, 10:41 AM
Thank you very much. It keeps the developer hearts warmer.
SubashPosted Aug 16, 2016, 12:43 AM
Very Nice article sir
Gowtham RajamanickamPosted May 25, 2016, 1:17 AM
Good one..
Shashank RanePosted May 24, 2016, 1:14 AM
This indeed is a great article...It would have been nice if everyone gets a mentor like you..:-)
Hari ShankerPosted May 24, 2016, 12:41 AM
Nice article sir
Abhilash J APosted May 23, 2016, 11:58 PM
Thank you for this Article sir.
Vignesh ManiPosted May 23, 2016, 3:47 PM
Good one sir
Thiruppathi RPosted May 23, 2016, 2:55 PM
Great Article...
Munesh SharmaPosted May 23, 2016, 1:57 PM
nice
Shaili DashoraPosted May 23, 2016, 12:47 PM
Very Nice Mahesh Chand sir
Amit ChoudharyPosted Nov 12, 2015, 11:20 AM
This is really a great gesture. A lots of member admires Mahesh Chand as a great mentor. He is mentoring members/non-members of c-sharpcorner(including me since 2009). Only a step is required to get ahead of crowed and your mentor can guide you well *when* it's time to take that step.
Sujeet SumanPosted Sep 19, 2015, 5:56 AM
Nice article sir.........
Edrick LomibaoPosted Aug 10, 2015, 5:12 AM
Thank you for this Article.
Mahesh ChandPosted Jul 6, 2015, 9:37 AM
Thanks guys.
Jeetendra GundPosted Jul 6, 2015, 9:32 AM
Good one
Ramchand RepallePosted Jul 6, 2015, 9:18 AM
Great one. Very insipirational and Motiviative.
Nilesh JadavPosted Jul 6, 2015, 8:48 AM
Nice information sir
RakeshPosted Jul 6, 2015, 8:43 AM
Good one sir
Upendra Pratap ShahiPosted Jul 6, 2015, 8:38 AM
Very nice Mahesh Chand Sir
Lalit RaghavPosted Jul 6, 2015, 8:27 AM
very nice
Sibeesh VenuPosted Jul 6, 2015, 8:13 AM
Motivative .Thanks for sharing :)
Saravanakumar SekaranPosted Sep 27, 2014, 10:38 PM
Thanks Mahesh Chand
Nimit JoshiPosted Sep 23, 2014, 11:07 PM
Thanks Mahesh Chand Sir for this inspirational and thoughtful article..
Vithal WadjePosted Sep 23, 2014, 1:17 PM
always motivational and inspirational thanks
Chetankumar G ShettyPosted Sep 23, 2014, 12:54 PM
Nice one Mahesh Chand
Manju lata YadavPosted Sep 23, 2014, 10:52 AM
c-sharp corner has a big community to help others it is growing , growing, growing
Arunava BhattacharjeePosted Sep 23, 2014, 2:56 AM
Mahesh Chand really great...it's not only about in IT, your article is true for all aspect in Life. Thanks :)...so many identifications I got.
Prasham SabadraPosted Sep 23, 2014, 2:20 AM
Thanks a lot Mahesh sir for sharing this.
Manish Kumar ChoudharyPosted Sep 23, 2014, 1:26 AM
very inspiring articles Mahesh Chand sir..
Guest UserPosted Sep 22, 2014, 10:16 PM
One lesson I want to share. Particularly in India we call anyone without texting & confirming from that person whether s/he is busy or not? This happened to me when I called doctor last time without realizing that he might be busy in OT or surgery. I pissed him off and then I apolozied. I think calling our friends , family members directly are fine, but in business or professional relationships it's good to check someone's availability before calling them.
Guest UserPosted Sep 22, 2014, 10:16 PM
very true Mahesh!
Vidya Vrat AgarwalPosted Sep 22, 2014, 4:24 PM
Well%20written%2C%20explained%20and%20communicated.
Sam HobbsPosted Sep 22, 2014, 2:45 PM
Something else to think about is what you have to offer the other person. If you have something to offer than they are much more likely to want to invest time in you. One possibility is to have a problem that no one else can solve. If no one else can solve it then you can at least show that you have tried to solve it. You might be able to get the person interested by an interesting problem. Even if you do not have an interesting problem, I think it would help to think in terms of the other person and try to provide a good reason for why they would want to respond.
Sam HobbsPosted Sep 22, 2014, 2:41 PM
There is somewhere in the internet that provides extensive guidelines for asking questions in newsgroups and forums. Many of those guidelines would apply to asking for help from an individual. For example, I think it would help to assure the other person that you have made a reasonable effort to solve problems. Many experts are expert because they are willing to spend time reading and researching and trying things. They are not likely to want to help if you do not want to do that.